Hands down - the single worst part of my gig.
Sitting quietly through their emotional roller coaster.
And - of course - knowing that at the end of it - you have to actually be heartless enough to ask them for money.
I had a boyfriend once who used to always say that all a girl had to do to get laid was ask. Lucas will feel guilty about this. He's a decent guy and a buddy and he'll feel bad about this. But that feeling will pass. Because he'll also look back and remember this was the one night that I let him do anything he wanted. And even though he'll know it's wrong, he'll smile to himself. He just won't be able to help it. Then he'll feel bad again. But I can't say that I care, really. I don't care what he feels like. I just want to feel something. It doesn't matter what. Pain. Humility. Anger. I just want to feel something different.